Note: any similarity between monkeys, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
corruption
February 22, 2008 - Leave a Response
hello mr b.
we understand one of our demands was met. for this, we will not bake the monkey in a cake as planned.
however, we are still waiting on two others. while you are deciding on your outfit/lighting/backdrop for “i’m a little teapot”, this weekend we shall be corrupting the monkey.
that is all.
Response to Mr. B’s request
February 13, 2008 - 2 Responses
Mr B,
Just a word of warning – DO NOT try to contact the police. It won’t do you or your monkey any favours.
If you want an extension of time, we feel it necessary that you show us that you are taking this seriously and will at least complete one of the demands by the time we originally gave you.
Monkey is well. He says that he misses you (or something along those lines, it was too hard to tell through the gutwrenching sobs and the sounds of the chainsaw we held a mere few inches from his cute little monkey face).
Regards
Monkey Napper
1st Set of Demands
February 12, 2008 - 7 Responses
Dear Mr. B***,
I will be brief. We need you to do the following by 1300 hours [GMT] tomorrow.
1) give one curly wurly to Jason.
2) film yourself singing the first verse of “I’m a little teapot” and send to monkeynap@hotmail.co.uk
3) stand up and clearly say “I might be a chicken but I like wet noodles”. This must be heard by everyone in the office.
If you fail to meet our demands, the monkey gets it.
That is all. For Now….
notice of demands
February 11, 2008 - 3 Responses
Monkey struggled a bit but we sorted that out! We don’t take kindly to monkeying about and he’s been told that the next time he tries anything, we’re going to tape monkey from head to toe, stick him to a ceiling fan, turn it on, and watch him fly!!!!!!! Mwa ha ha ha….
So now you know he is still okay, it’s time to start making our demands. We will email you with the first set by 4:00 pm on Tuesday, February 12th and if you don’t meet our demands, we’ll come up with something terrible and absolutely cruel to do to monkey and we’ll film it so you can witness the entire thing!!!!!!
